Are You A Malayalyee?
Are you a Malayalee?
You might be a Malayali..........
- If you can fit four passengers in the front seat of an Ambassador taxi,
while in the back there are eight passengers and two children with their
heads stuck out of the window, chances are, you are a Mallu going to attend
your cousin's wedding.
- If you can run, ride a 100 cc motorbike without wearing a helmet, and
playfootball, all while wearing a lungi tied halfmast, Malayali status!
- If your late father left you a part of an old house as your inheritance, and
you turned it into a "chaya kada" yes you're a Malayali.
- If you have more than 5 relatives working in Gulf, Big Time Malayali..
- If you have the words "Chinchu Mol + Jinchu Mol" written on the rear window
of your Omni car, Yes, You ARE a Malaayli.
- If you refer to your husband as kettiyon; ithiyan, pillerude appan, guess
what? You're a Central Travancore Syrian Christian Malayali.
- If you have a tamilian parked in front of your house every Sunday, ironing
your clothes, chances are a you are a Middle Class Malayali.
- If you have more than three employee trade unions at your place of work then
ask no further, you are indeed a Malayali.
- If you have voted into power a Chief Minister who has not passed the 4th
grade then ask no further, YOU ARE A MALAYALI.
- If you have at least two relatives working in the US in the health industry
, Yes! Malayali!
- If you religiously buy a lottery ticket every week, then You're in the
- If you describe a woman as "charrakku" Yep! Malayali.!
- If you constantly refer to banana as "benana" or pizza as "pissa" you're a
- If you use coconut oil instead of refined vegetable oil and can't figure
out why people in your family have congenital heart problems, you might be a
- If you are going out to see a movie at the local theater with your wifey
wearing all the gold jewellery gifted to her by her parents, you are a newly
- If you and your wife and three children dress up in your Sunday best and go
out to have biriyani at Kayikka's on a 100 cc Bajaj mobike, you an upwardly
mobile Malayali from Cochin.
- If your idea of haute cuisine is kappa and meen curry, then, yes, you are a
- If you have beef puttu for breakfast, beef olathu for lunch, and beef curry
with "borotta" for dinner, yeah, definitely Malalyali.
- If your name Wilson, and your wife's name is Baby, and you name your daughter
Wilby, have no doubts at all , you are a standard Malayali.
- If most of the houses on your block are painted puke yellow, fluorescent
green, and bright pink, definitely Malappuram Malayali.
- If you tie a towel around your head and burst into a raucous rendition of the
song "Kuttanadn Punjayile" after having three glasses of toddy, then you are a
- If you call appetizers served with alcoholic beverages as "touchings" then
you are one helluva Malayali.
- If the local toddy shop owner knows you by your pet name and you call him
"Porinju Chetta" then you are true Malayali.
- If you're sick and your wifey rubs "Bicks" into your nostrils and gives you "kurumulaku
rasam" with chakkara, (grandma's recipe) to help relieve your symptoms, Damn!!
- IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU
ARE THE REAL McCOY, A BLUE BLOOD MALAYALI. LAAL SALAAM.
All meant in fun, don't get all "SIMBLY AGITATED". Pass it on so
another Malayali can laff too.