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Are You A Malayalyee?

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Are you a Malayalee?

You might be a Malayali..........

  • If you can fit four passengers in  the front seat of an  Ambassador taxi,   while in the back  there are eight passengers and two children  with their  heads stuck out of the window,  chances are,  you are a Mallu going to attend your cousin's wedding.
  • If you can run, ride a 100 cc motorbike without wearing a helmet, and playfootball, all while wearing  a lungi tied halfmast, Malayali  status!
  •  If your late father left you a part of an old house as your inheritance, and you turned it into a  "chaya kada" yes you're a Malayali.
  • If you have more than 5 relatives working in Gulf,  Big Time Malayali..
  • If you have  the words "Chinchu Mol + Jinchu Mol" written on the rear  window of your Omni car, Yes, You ARE a Malaayli.
  • If you refer to your husband as kettiyon; ithiyan, pillerude appan,  guess what? You're a  Central Travancore Syrian Christian Malayali.
  • If you have a tamilian parked in front of your house every Sunday, ironing your clothes, chances are a you are a Middle Class Malayali.
  • If you  have more than three employee trade unions at your place of work then ask no further,  you are indeed a Malayali.
  • If you have  voted into power a Chief Minister who has not passed the 4th grade then ask no further, YOU ARE A MALAYALI.
  • If you  have at least two relatives working in the US in the health industry , Yes! Malayali!
  • If you religiously buy a lottery ticket every  week, then You're in the Malayali Zone!
  • If you describe a woman as "charrakku" Yep! Malayali.!
  • If you constantly refer to banana as "benana" or pizza as "pissa" you're a Malayali..
  • If you use coconut oil  instead of  refined vegetable oil and can't figure out why people in your family have congenital heart problems, you might be a Malayali.
  • If you are going out to see a movie at the local theater with your wifey wearing all the gold jewellery gifted to her by her parents, you are a newly married Malayali..
  • If you and your wife and three children dress up in your Sunday best and  go out to have biriyani at Kayikka's on a 100 cc Bajaj mobike, you an upwardly mobile Malayali from Cochin.
  • If your idea of haute cuisine is kappa and meen curry, then, yes, you are a Malayali..
  • If you have beef puttu for breakfast, beef olathu for lunch, and beef curry with "borotta" for dinner, yeah, definitely Malalyali.
  • If your name Wilson, and your wife's name is Baby, and you name your daughter Wilby, have no doubts at all , you are a standard Malayali.
  • If most of the houses on your block are painted puke yellow, fluorescent green, and bright pink, definitely Malappuram Malayali.
  • If you tie a towel around your head and burst into a raucous rendition of the song "Kuttanadn Punjayile"  after having three glasses of toddy, then you are a hardcore Malayali.
  • If  you call appetizers served with alcoholic beverages as "touchings" then you are one  helluva Malayali.
  • If the local toddy shop owner knows you by your pet name and you call him "Porinju Chetta" then you are true Malayali.
  • If you're sick and your wifey rubs "Bicks" into your nostrils and gives you "kurumulaku rasam" with chakkara, (grandma's recipe) to help relieve your symptoms, Damn!! You're Malayali.
  • IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE REAL McCOY, A BLUE BLOOD MALAYALI.  LAAL SALAAM.

All meant in fun, don't get all "SIMBLY AGITATED". Pass  it on so another Malayali can laff too.

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