Kerala Society & Culture:
By Mookooti on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 02:55 am: Edit Post
I am a 24 year old girl ,born and brought up in bombay [hailing fm Palghat-Tamil Brahmins].i am employed in a travel agency on a 5 digit salary.Recently i am engaged to be married to a businessman from coimbatore in south india. the initial pleasantries are over and there is absolutely no demand for dowry in cash or in kind.the boy's father is distantly related to my mother.hence both the parties are eager to to have the marriage performed early say in june-july 02.this is the good part of the story. now the bad part is that the ma in law has communicated that in keeping with the family tradition i as the eldest daughter in law of the family should set foot in the house ie ( gruha pravesham) wearing nose styds on both the nostrils and continue to wear till my daughter in law comes.i am completely at a loss to know how to cope with the situation .my parents have also agreed and there is daily demand to pierce my nostrils well in time before the wedding so that the wound would heal and i could wear diamond studs on my nostrils.it is really inconceivable for me to imagine myself in such out moded jewekry being born and brought up in bombay with a convent background and a 5 digit income at my disposal.i seek sincere guidance and advise to overcome the predicament.though i am not averse to nose piercing i cannot have both sides pierced.even my mom has only right side pierced and expects the next generation to wear jewelry of the generation prior to her.i do not know what the consequences would be if i were to take on the whole crowd and rebel on this count.
By Sceptic on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 03:07 am: Edit Post
A classic dilemma. Beyond the mookutti business lurks what
could turn out to be a major battle of wits with the would-be
mom-in-law who seems to be autocratic. With all respects to
the family background and wishes, I suggest you make your
preferences clear, and then acce!
pt that if the would-be
mom-in-law would not have a daughter-in-law without two
mookuttis, then the relationship is not worth having. The
insistence on mookuttis is symptomatic of much more
uncompromising demands in waiting which could pose much
bitter dilemmas for you. Put your foot down and insist on one
mookutti or nothing and see where it gets you. If the
mom-in-law does not relent, then you are much better off
looking for another groom. Of course, you could make a
concession and accept her demand in order not to pre-empt the
marriage, but you could be facing problems for the rest of your
life on many other aspects. Best wishes either way.
By karan on Friday, July 20, 2007 - 03:08 am: Edit Post
Pierce your nose on bothsides at the time of marriage. And after that you ask suggesstion of your hubby. If he don't like, you try to convince your mother in law,by wearing one stud instead of both.
By Anonymous on Friday, October 22, 2010 - 12:25 pm: Edit Post
But what happened lastly ? Did you pierce ? I think Karan was right.
By Anonymous on Monday, February 01, 2016 - 10:04 pm: Edit Post
She rebelled - they forced her to have both noses pierced - she got married - husband sided mom-in-law whom he reveres. She has 2 kids today - no job - caters to in laws needs and demands as much as possible - has forgotten this message - now being brainwashed to insist something like this from the next generation - to uphold traditional values that has give her "everything she has in life"
Any thought otherwise and all her dilemmas come to the fore and her life becomes unbearable - so tries her best to fit into the mould set for her by others
Oh! my dearest daughter, when your turn (to voice your opinion) comes, what all will I be asking of you for the sake of others, or will I be looking the other way altogether?