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Interracial Marriage for MalayaleesKerala Forum: Kerala Society & Culture: Interracial Marriage for Malayalees
By ConfusedConcerned on Monday, June 21, 2010 - 07:10 pm: Edit Post
Is it true that Malayalees (especially men)cannot marry other nationalities? I have spoken to some Malayalees and they told me that if they do, their parents and their community will disown them. They'd rather commit suicide than be disowned. Can't the parents and their relatives give their children the right to choose who they want to live with, without those arranged marriage?
By Sagar Elis on Saturday, January 08, 2011 - 04:30 am: Edit Post
this is wrong and those guys are just saying it to out of the responsiblity. I am married to a filipina and my family do not have any issues with that.
By Jeslyn on Wednesday, May 18, 2011 - 12:36 am: Edit Post
I think it's really among those who have never been outside of Kerala that are totally against it..I don't think they like any other kind of ppl except their own..however it's not 100% true about being disowned. My cousin is married to a non-mallu, in fact to an American, and they are wonderful together and have a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter..been married for almost 7 years and are really happy..but my cousin was not disowned and still part of the family. It is true that some mallus will disown you, but those are the kind of mallus ppl usually dislike b/c they are too narrow-minded about everything..avoid them in all costs.
By Sureshbabu on Sunday, September 04, 2011 - 09:55 am: Edit Post
This problem is not specific to Malayalees. We have to see our outlook to marrying a person from another country from the Indian perspective. Our parents only want us to marry from people whom they can feel a kind of belonging. Why talking about marrying people from other countries? Do you think they would accept us marrying some one who is not of our caste, colour, status, state or community? Do you think mallu parents would accept their wards marrying anyone from outside the state? I don't think so.
By Krishnan on Thursday, September 22, 2011 - 06:36 pm: Edit Post
By ifellinlovewithamalayalee on Saturday, October 22, 2011 - 12:46 pm: Edit Post
Confused Concern, you have a point. My ex boyfriend reasoned out about being disowned and all. He wanted an abortion but I do not want to do it so I end up alone. I am not regretting because I now have a son. I'm just thankful that I am highly educated and my finances are not a major problem to think about. He's doing nothing in his life now. He said he wasn't allowed interracial marriages and if ever he would be disowned, he knows he cannot survive without his parent's money. He's got no balls and he has no shame because he continued his other relationships to some other girls (from my race - take note: he claimed that he's not allowed inter racial stuffs but look at his actions)while being an irresponsible father to my kid (by the way, he 2-3-4-nth timed me). He was not disowned but he hated me much for informing his family. I do not understand why people need to act clean in front of everyone else in Kerala even if they are really rotten inside. I don't want to mention names but it really damn hurts to be left out. Having no money isn't an excuse. A guy's greatness is not measured by the amount of his paychecks but by the effort he exerted. In this case? He never even asked about the baby. Shame on him. By the way, he wanted to have a clean reputation in my son's eyes as well as to his future arranged marriage wife and in laws if there are any Indian girl he and his family could fool. (actually, one girl wrote to me : pretended to be his wife and she received harsh words from me). His parents? I think they are acting as if they know nothing. They are well educated but I cannot see the democracy in their lives. Is that really harsh in Kerala? He is such a black sheep. What do you call a guy who's willing to turn his back to his firstborn son? Is it because that it's outside wedlock? Gosh.
By ifellinlovewithamalayalee on Saturday, October 22, 2011 - 12:51 pm: Edit Post
Sagar, I commend you for your honesty here. You re lucky.
By meeza on Thursday, November 24, 2011 - 05:28 am: Edit Post
ALL these comments are posted out of isolated one where it happens not for being akeralite , every where it happens the question is guts and balls , In kerala i opresume there are maximum number of intercaste and inter community , and races marriage , kerala is a place where every body are accepted , there is place in kannur where they are ararnging grroms from north like haryana and chandigarh , and you see any family atleast one out of therelation has an inter marriage
By Dayana on Thursday, July 12, 2012 - 07:10 pm: Edit Post
^Yes mixed marriage is very common in Kerala too, just that the very conservative people refuse to acknowledge it and think Kerala is the same as it was in the old days. Come to Kochi (where I grew up) and you'll be in for a ride. I've noticed this was happening in Kerala when I went a few months back. Even though I grew up in Kerala, my husband is from the United Kingdom who is of Punjabi descent. My parents liked him after spending time with and knowing his family for some time and were happy to allow us to marry, but maybe that was because they were a bit more liberal than others? We are very happy along with the occasional squabble all spouses have and married for almost 13 years. My parents consider him as their son, not "son in law". You can have that sense of belonging if you allow it.
By Jesin john on Saturday, October 06, 2012 - 02:37 pm: Edit Post
Mixed marriages are warmly welcomed in most new generation families in kerala particularly when a mallu boy marries a non malayali but the fact is that they are still no longer ready to accept their girls marrying a non malayali boy.One of my cousin Leena married a half bengali half punjabi boy who works along with her in DUBAI.Parents are ready to accept the boy if he is ready to get converted to her religion ; unfortunately he didnt & her parents strictly told that they are not going to accept their marriage.Luckily girl was smart enough to discard her parents words who found only the religion as a barrier.She married him a gave birth to two cute kiddies whom she couldnot have gave birth if she married a mallu boy.
By Anonymous on Monday, October 15, 2012 - 02:48 pm: Edit Post
I cannot understand this..y they are hesistaing for an inter race marriage. I loved an arab guy who worked with me in kuwait my parents disagree the relation telling that arab men donot maintain marital relation . I still love him but not ready to bring tears to parents eyes ...
By Anonymous on Sunday, October 14, 2012 - 12:09 pm: Edit Post
Of Course JESIN JOHN ; I m a victim i too loved a non malayali infact half indian where my parents were not ready to accept us . so i endedup our relation . now i m regreting to miss him
By Anonymous on Friday, October 26, 2012 - 04:43 am: Edit Post
This problem is not alone confined to malayalis ...Most of the indian creeds are against mixed marriages
By Jisha on Wednesday, November 28, 2012 - 06:17 pm: Edit Post
Kerala is in for a cultural transformation. It is true that mixed marriage is very common and I agree with Dayana that too many people there are still very narrow-minded and do not even mention it, then later bashing and criticizing NRI malayalees living in US, UK, Northern India, Bangalore, everywhere all b/c their children are living differently than they are with different viewpoints, lifestyle..etc :p.
By Alice on Thursday, February 07, 2013 - 05:07 am: Edit Post
Jisha i really admire your family and relatives .
By Doll on Monday, May 20, 2013 - 02:44 am: Edit Post
I have been in a long distance relationship with this malayalee for one year now, as they all say old generations seem to have narrow thinking about having a marriage outside your race. what's different with him is that he is very open with this modern things and he is willing to marry me despite our cultural and religious differences. At first, I am worried that this kind of relationship will not work out. But with him by my side, always telling me we will work this problem out together, keeps on saying he wont leave me whatever happens.. and that we will always be together, gives me strength that I didn't know I have in me. It gives me the hope, and the faith that everything will turn out the way we want it to be. It depends on the decision of both of you and what others think about it doesn't matter. As long as you two love each other I don't think that anyone's opinion is worth it.
By Beth McGann on Wednesday, June 19, 2013 - 09:54 am: Edit Post
I am an Australian woman. I married my Kerala boyfriend Sreejith so that he could get a visa to come to Australia. I supported him for 3 years and paid for him to study a diploma etc etc etc. Now he has his permanent residency and he has deserted me. He never told his family about our marriage or life together. He said his family would disown him, or commit suicide. I think the reality is that he wanted to get a visa, and didn't give a shit about me. Should I visit my in-laws in India?
By Anonymous on Friday, October 11, 2013 - 02:57 am: Edit Post
WHat you told is wrong.. I am married to a Filipino women..and as you told my family , my community everyone ........disown But i stand for her and we make each other strong against every hard time they gave us.. Now we are Happy. Family is also understanding and thinking positively... Give then some time to accept...
By vijayarajan on Friday, January 16, 2015 - 07:12 pm: Edit Post
Hi guys I am luving a malu girl but I am from core Tamil guy.. Her parents r nt accepting for dis ..since MRE than caste malu s prob..she used to tell me to get adopted to malu parents guys pls tell me sol
By jen on Sunday, February 22, 2015 - 03:20 am: Edit Post
It breaks my heart thinking that me and my boyfriend will end up nothing because of there culture. I don't want to be selfish and be happy while hes family disown him because of me.
By Anonymous on Wednesday, March 11, 2015 - 09:30 pm: Edit Post
I am 25 years old and the man I want to marry is 26. We are both very committed, happy, and confident in our relationship and decision to move into the next stage of our life. We have known each other for over 3 years.
By Anonymous on Sunday, March 15, 2015 - 11:12 pm: Edit Post
I fell in love with a mallu guy and he got me pregnant..after learning about that situation, he asked me for an abortion or else he'll get suicide coz of fear of disowning by his family. He brainwashed me and let me decide whom I will choose, the baby or him. I was out of my mind that time, and because I loved him so much, I chose him. But in the end, I was left alone and broken because I lost him and my baby. I was being believed and fooled. And I regret everything. He's now engaged and is set to get married by May. Until now, I haven't recovered from the pain of depression. I have this hatred now for all malayalee guys. They're not capable of loving. I make myself believe that malayalees were assholes. They're acting as if they were clean but totally rotten inside. I thought hindu is a great believer of karma but he wasn't scared of what he has done to me.
By Anonymous on Sunday, March 15, 2015 - 11:17 pm: Edit Post
I can relate to how u feel Jen...it happened to me as well and I was even got pregnant by him but he didn't stand for it. In fact, he forced me to abort the baby and let me choose whom I love most, the baby or him. Such an asshole! And I regret I chose him because I end up with nothing. I lost both of them.
By rajiv on Tuesday, November 03, 2015 - 08:55 am: Edit Post
To all those women who were abandoned by men from kerala.As a malayalee myself i apologize on their behalf. what they did was certainly wrong. but please do not generalize every malayalee guy as the same. there are people everywhere who do this kind of stuff. Again i'am really sorry on their behalf .
By Anonymous on Thursday, July 28, 2016 - 03:03 pm: Edit Post
I am from tamilnadu. My wife is from shoranur. Ours was an arranged marriage.we belong to diff caste.i found her profile through my friend.i sent a interest.it was declined.but she called from her friend number.we spoke and she was confident about me. She informed her family nd they denied straight away.but her brother asked us to come over as she was stubborn. The elders were not willing.but we got married. After six months we went there for festival. They welcome us. The reason for denial is that they are not confident about other state people.our marriage made way for 3 more marriage between my friend nd wife's relatives.
By Anonymous on Friday, September 22, 2017 - 06:07 am: Edit Post
I have a Kerala guy boyfriend for almost 3 yrs.
By Anonymous on Thursday, November 29, 2018 - 08:33 am: Edit Post
Im a victim of the same. I n a mallu guy fell in love with each other in college. He loves me but couldn't propose. I don't believe the norms n I proposed him n he accepted. At start he told he can try to convince his parents. My parents are not so orthodox but I know I can convince them once I'm financially independent and have a good living.